Deceitful Pleasures
by PhantomHeartless5
Summary: Dark Pit didm't think it was possible. Surely it had to be a mistake. But he could deny it no longer. He had a crush on someone, and that someone was Pandora of all people! But one thing's for sure, the only way he'd find relief was to confront her about it. Find out what happens in this Dark PitXPandora oneshot. Rated M for sexual content. A request from Riderman09


**Hello, fellow fanfic authors. This is a Dark PitXPandora story that was requested by Riderman09. Rated M for sexual themes. Please read, review, and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_**Deceitful Pleasures**_

It was Friday and Dark Pit was out at the park doing hs weekly exercise routine. It was his way of relieving the stress of the week. It was also his way of getting some me time away from Palutena and Pit. While it wasn't uncommon for the dark angel to be exercising, this time he had a particular reason for doing so. It was mostly to clear his mind of certain... _thoughts_ that have been plaquing him. What were these thoughts about may ask? Oh, thoughts about a certain Goddess of Disaster. That's right, Dark Pit had been thinking about Pandora of all people. He didn't know why, but a few days ago, he started to have thoughts about Pandora. But what startled him were the context of the thoughts. All of them were of the_ romantic_ setting.

No doubt this gave him cause for alarm. Why would he be thinking about Pandora? He didn't even like her! Yes, she was a beautiful girl, but he didn't give a flying fuck about her. So then why were romantic thoughts about her haunting his dreams every night? Was it the way she fought? Admittedly, she was a powerful opponent, especially when she got her body back. But that was hardly a reason to have romantic thoughts about her. After a round of exercise, he walked over to a field of flowers and picked one up. "Can't believe I'm about to do this." he muttered to himself. He then started to pluck one of the petals off the flower. "I like her. I don't like her. I like her. I don't like her." he chanted as he plucked the petals off one by one. When he got to the last petal, he said to himself. "I like her." He tossed the flower aside and pulled another, repeating the process. Like before, it ended with an "I like her." He then pulled out flower after flower, plucking each of their petals. But every time it ended with an "I like her." Dark Pit screamed in frustration. "There is no way in hell that I like her!" he shouted.

Unbeknownst to the dark angel, another set of eyes were watching him. Pit had been observing his dark counterpart for a good few minutes, watiching his bizzare display. Pit was admittedly worried about Dark Pit. He had been acting strange recently. Whenever they would spar, Dark Pit would get distracted and Pit would beat him easily. Whenever they went to sleep, he would hear Dark Pit talk in his sleep. Naturally he tried to inquire about this, but every time he did, Dark Pit merely told him to screw off. Well, after seeing this, he decided enough was enough.

Walking over to his dark counterpart, Pit called out. "So it's safe to say you've finally cracked?" Dark Pit let out yelp of surprise and turned to see Pit behind him. "What do you want?"

"To see if you haven't lost all of your marbles." came Pit's snarky reply. "Seriously, Pittoo. What is with you? You've been acting strange all week. I get you're the lone wolf type, but seriously, what is up? I want the truth this time."

"You can't handle the truth!" Dark Pit retorted.

"Really? How original." Pit deadpanned. Dark Pit gave a defeated and annoyed sigh. "It's Pandora, alright?!"

"Yeah, I could figure that with all the muttering in your sleep." Pit replied. "So what about her?" Dark Pit looked away, a tell-tale blush spread across his face. "I like her." he muttered. "Come again?" Pit asked.

"I LIKE HER, OKAY?!" Dark Pit shouted. "I dunno why, but I just do."

"Well, have you ever, I dunno, _talked_ to her about how you feel." Pit suggested. Romance wasn't exactly his forte, but it couldn't hurt to help.

"Oh yeah, Pit. That's gonna look good." Dark Pit sarcastically replied. "'Hey, I know I killed you before, but I really like you. What do you say we go out to eat?' I'm going to look really stupid, don't you think?"

"Well, it's better than torturing yourself." Pit retorted. "At least give it try or consider it." Pit then left Dark Pit to his thoughts. Once he was far enough away where the dark angel couldn't see him, he contacted Lady Palutena. "Okay, Lady Palutena, I did my part. Are you sure this is gonna work?" he asked.

"_Trust me, Pit_." came Palutena's telepathic reply. "_I've already talked to Pandora and it turned out she has a crush on Dark Pit. She didn't tell me directly, but I could tell it was him she was talking about. So I volunteered to help arrange a date at her Labyrinth. And the best part is that she has no clue that it's Dark Pit coming to visit her. Trust me, this'll work_."

"I hope so." Pit said.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm actually following that idiot's advice." Dark Pit said as he neared the entrance to Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit. After hours of mental debate, Dark Pit finally decided to take Pit's advice and talk to Pandora about it. Though he was loathe to admit it, Pit had a valid point. It seemed the only way he'd find relief from these romantic fantasies is to confront Pandora about them. Giving a sigh, Dark Pit rang the doorbell. The door opened and Dark Pit walked through only to fall into a hole in the floor. It led to a long slide filled with many twists and turns. It eventually led to a room that where he fell upward from the celing and onto a sofa.

"Well, nice of you to drop in." Pandora said. Dark Pit quickly struggled to righten himself and not look like a fool. Once he did, he found himself staring at Pandora. Those ruby eyes, that azure hair, and that shapely figure. It was almost too much to bear. But he managed to snap out of his trance before Pandora noticed. "I wasn't really expecting you to visit." Pandora said. "Otherwise I would've have made lunch. So what brings you here? Want a rematch?"

"Actually, I'm here on a... friendly visit." Dark Pit replied.

"Friendly? I didn't think that word was in your vocabulary." Pandora snarked.

"Ha ha." Dark Pit deadpanned. "Look, I just came to visit alright?"

"Alright, alright." Pandora replied. She then snapped her fingers and two cups of tea appeared. "Some herbal tea. Best I could do on short notice."

"Thanks." Dark Pit said as he took a sip. Pandora, meanwhile, sat on the sofa next to him and took a sip of her tea. For the longest time, the two said nothing, but sipped their cups of tea. After all, what could two mortal enemies say to one another? Pandora eventually decided to break the silence. "So... what have you been doing?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, Training Palutena's troops, working out, and trying to put up with those two morons." he said.

"Hmmph, more power to you then." Pandora replied.

"What about you?" he asked.

"Oh, just catching up on old times now that I have my body again." Pandora replied. "You know, yoga, macrobiotics, reflexology. I even got my driver's license."

"Oh, that's nice." Dark Pit said. "_This is getting nowhere_. _Guess I gotta bite the bullet._" he began to think. "Hey, Pandora...?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you." he said.

"Oh really?" Pandora asked. "And what's that?" Dark Pit looked downward, twiddling his fingers a bit. He stayed like that for a good few minutes until he finally muttered "Oh, what the hell." That's when he did something he never thought he'd do. He grabbed the sides of Pandora's face and plunged their lips together in a deep kiss. Pandora reflexively moaned into the kiss, which lasted a good five minutes before Dark Pit broke it off. "Wow... what are you the 'actions speak louder than words' type?" Pandora asked.

"Okay, the truth is... I really like you." Dark Pit said. "I know it sounds crazy. Trust me, I know. And I don't know why, but I do. I've been thinking about you for a while now. Okay, I guess this is the part where you think I'm a total werido." Pandora simply stared at the angel. A mixture of confusion and flattery easily read in her expression. After sitting in silence for a time, Pandora finally said, "I have to go pretty up." And she teleported out of the room, leaving Dark Pit to his thoughts.

"Great. I _knew_ this was a stupid idea." He said to himself. "Just plant a kiss all out of the blue. Now she _really_ thinks I'm an idiot."

"Excuse me, Dark Pit?" Pandora's voice called out from the next room. "Could you be a dear and come see please?" Dark Pit sighed and walked down the hall to Pandora's bedroom. When he walked in, it seemed no one was there. "Pandora?" Dark Pit called out. "Pandora?" The dark angel shrugged and turned to leave, only to be tackled onto the bed. Dark Pit opened his eyes to find Pandora on top of him, clad in nothing but a bra and panties. "Pandora, what the hell are you doing?"

"What you want." Pandora replied. "What we both want, apparently. You see, I've always had a little crush on you too. But I could never say it. But now that I know you like me too, I figured I could stop hiding."

"Ok... But shouldn't we go on a date or something first?" Dark Pit asked.

"I think we could just skip to the good part." Pandora said. "Besides, we're in a fanfic. We're gonna do it anyway." She then pressed her lips with Dark Pit's as she snapped her fingers. In a flash of bright light, the dark angel was stripped down to his boxers. "_She really _does_ like to skip to the good part_." He thought. Dark Pit decided to do the same and unhooked her bra., exposing her breasts. Pandora began to nibble on his ear before trailing kisses down his neck and stopping to suck on his collarbone. Dark Pit began to fondle her breasts, licking and sucking on those hardened nipples. Pandora let out a small moan at the sensation. He continued his actions, licking a bit faster. It lasted until Pandora gently pushed him back onto the bed. With a devilish smile on her face, she pulled down his boxers, freeing his member. She promptly began sucking on it.

Dark Pit let out a small groan and held Pandora's head in a knee-jerk reaction. "Not... bad." he said. That encouraged Pandora to suck a bit faster, this time using her breasts to give a titjob. Dark Pit groaned a bit louder. It wouldn't be long before he ejaculated. Pandora continued her actions at an even faster pace until finally, the dark angel came, sending streams of cum into her mouth. "Wow... Not bad." she said as she licked some cum off her face. "You know, I think we're ready for the main event." She removed her panties and poisitioned herself so Dark Pit's member would brush against her bare sex. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be..." He said. Pandora then impaled herself on Dark Pit's manhood. "My my. Never had such a big one." she said. "This is going to be fun." And she began bouncing on Dark Pit's member at a rhythmic pace. Dark Pit reflexively held on to her hips. "Oh yes, this feels great." she breathed out as her bouncing increased in speed. Her moans became louder and unrestrained. Dark Pit began to groan a bit as well. Eventually, his hips started to move by themselves, matching her speed. He'd never thought he'd be doing this. But here he was, having sex with the same person he fought against. It seemed that old saying was true: You really can't help who you fall in love with.

"Oh, yes! That's it!" Pandora shouted as she pulled Dark Pit up in a lustful haze. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and his arms were wrapped around her waist. And her legs were wrapped around his waist. Their lips were pressed together in a passionat kiss. "That's it, fuck me raw! Make me come!" she pleaded. And Dark Pit kept thrusting faster and faster until they both eventually came. Dark Pit fell back onto the bed and Pandora fell on top of him. "Wow... That was quite amazing." Pandora said as the two basked in the afterglow.

"Yeah... It was." Dark Pit replied. "But I think it goes without saying that we should keep this our little secret. I'd never hear the end of it if Pit or Palutena found out."

"My lips are sealed if yours are, Pittoo- I mean, Dark Pit." Pandora said, remembering that he doesn't like being called Pittoo.

"Actually... Pittoo's not so bad. At least when it's coming from you." Dark Pit said with a genuine smile.

**The End**

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**Well, so ends my tale. I hope you enjoyed it!**


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